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If this information is not available then experts offer a number of choices that are perfectly kosher: if a man enjoys any opportunity to wear his tuxedo he should do so (this was Frank Sinatras preferred solution to the optional conundrum) if a man fears being mistaken for the wait staff he should opt for a dark suit, white dress shirt, conservative tie, dress socks to match the suit and well-shined calfskin dress shoes if a man refuses to play this no-win guessing game he should steer clear of the event altogether What Creative Black Tie Means For Hosts Dont Confuse People This designation is defined by Emily Posts Etiquette as a tuxedo combined with trendy or whimsical items (usually related to the partys theme) which most experts suggest be limited to the shirt, tie or accessories